Finals are over, and I didn't think it was possible.... but I'm having a really bad day.
I have been crying since literally about 5 minutes after I woke up, which means I now have a headache, and a runny nose. Haven't stopped crying really.... little pauses. I thought this break was gonna be so super, and I'm disappionted. Ryan said it was gonna be great, cuz we'd actually have time to just be in love.... yet there's still no time. It's always something in the way. I just wish I were enough to make him WANT to love me. I know he does... but I just don't feel it, I don't see it. I just hear it. Words are just that.... words. They mean alot when they get backed up by actions. Right now... his don't really mean much to me. I don't want to do all the work... I want him to meet me in the middle. Well, I was trying... trying to spice it up. Sending random texts, and calls, suprising him with little stuff.... but I stopped. I stopped because I don't get it in return. Which.... honestly... is the whole reason I did it, to try to get an equal and ooposite reaction. Give it to him good, get it back good.... somehow that just didn't work out. I don't even wanna try anymore. I here.... the end. Nothin special anymore... not pretty anymore.... just here cuz I'm supposed to be I guess. I'm boring now. I'm only a part of his day when I'm supposed to be. Same old thing, every day. Same stuff, different day. (SSDD) I feel so stuck. Stuck sucks. He gives me excuses like, "I didn't have time to tell you...", or, "I didn't know you wanted me to....." Excuses. That's all it is. I'm afraid that this is how it's going to be until our next big step, which is getting engaged.... afraid because if this is how it's going to be, I dunno if I can do it. I don't need excuses... they just give me reaosns to be mad at him..... instead, I'm just running out of reasons to keep falling in love. He gives me reasons to be mad, not reasons to just be so in love with him. And... I need that. I don't just want it.... I need it in order for this relationship to work. Need. It is a big deal to me. But.... if he thinks he's doing just fine, that's all that counts. Not the way I feel. Because I don't feel that he's doing fine.... I feel like he's everybody elses hero EXCEPT mine. Everyone else gets all the reasons to fall in love with him.... not me. Cuz I'm just here. I get myself all worked up, and excited to be with him, and to see him.... and get disappointed. He's not feeling well. He doesn't feel like going out. He had a bad day. He's frustrated. He's in a bad mood cuz his mom. He just wants to relax and play Madden, or MLB on playstation. So.... here I am. Missing someone I see all the time. Wishing something I did was enough. Wishing that I didn't have to ask HIM out on a date. Wishing that he would suprise me with a little something. Wishing he worked himself up just to see me and be with me. Wishing he was crazy about me like he used to be, like I still am about him. Instead.... I just wish. I pray. We don't pray together. I asked many times to start.... I asked many times for alot of things. Sometimes I get it.... usually only for about a week.... alot of times I get words of promise, and no actions for delivery. We're stuck. If I know hte problem, I shoudl be able to fix it, right? Well.... I already tried.... this is all just remnants of the first time. Didn't get fixed... that's probably my fault because I'm tired of trying.
Yeah.... he loves me alot, don't think I don't know that. I know in my heart he does. But is he falling in love with me?? Is he still going crazy about me? Does he miss me even when he sees me everyday? Can he tell that I still feel lonely when I'm sitting next to him in church? The real problem is that we're broke, we're too young, and that means no engagement. So I will wait. I will wait a thousand years just to get to that step.... as long as I'm still falling in love. As long as he gives me a reason. The problem is I'm scared that he won't. I'm scared that I won't be enough for him to wanna give me a reason. I'm scared that I'll have to fall in love with someone else who won't even compare to him just because I wasn't enough to make him crazy about me, and wanna fix it right. I'm scared of proving his stupid friends right.... that I'm the wrong girl for him. That we're not gonna make it to the finish line. I know he loves me, but should it really be this hard to show me? Should he really have to work this hard? Shouldn't 3 years be enough??? Should I really have to doubt myself like this? Doubt him? Doubt US? I don't just wanna be another routine part of his day... sometimes I wanna MAKE his day! But I want it in return... so freaking bad. It's gotta be a two-way street. He is my best friend..... I wanna be with him more than I wanna breathe..... but I don't wanna cry this way. I don't want it to feel like this. He's my whole world.... I know I'm supposed to be with him. God brought me straight to him, and him to me. I know this is my best friend, and this is my one and only soul mate...... but we are stuck. And I am terrified that it's ruining everything..... and that I'll lose everything.... him. I know i would die inside, and my heart would break, and be scarred for the rest of my life, and I would never be complete, and breathing would never be the same if I lost him, because he is that ONE... THE ONE.
But what if he lost ME???
Friday, December 11, 2009
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Enough is Enough....
I want my friends to be friends already. Read up.....
Stop saying ME ME ME ME ME, I I I I I........ stop saying she said, she said, she said...... and stop saying I can't I can't I can't. THAT IS LAME
DID OUR SAVIOR SAY ME ME ME???? OR I I I??? NOPE..... he said you you you, we we we, and LORD LORD LORD. He didn't say he said, she said, they said..... he said I'll HELP, I'll LOVE. DID HE SAY ANYTHING ABOUT I CAN'T, I CAN'T, I JUST CAN'T????? Well, if He did.... WE WOULDN'T HAVE CHRISTMAS, OR EASTER!!!!
Reality check...... LIFE DOES SUCK. LIFE IS NOT FAIR. AND IT AIN'T EASY BEING A CHRISTIAN WOMAN..... IF IT WERE, EVERYONE WOULD BE DOING IT!!!!
The point is...... I love you people more than anything.... YEAH, EVEN MORE THAN RYAN. Ask him about what I've been praying about most...... YOU GUYS!!!
I'm ready for you to get it over with. I'm ready for you to stop being selfish, and quit quitting. I'm ready to hear I think I will, I think I can, I think I probably should. Why do you guys think I'm your friend?? Why do you think I'm such a good one?? Because..... it's not about me. It's not about what I can't do. It's about US. It's about HOW we make each other better. Consider this yet another contribution in my efforts to LOVE YOU....... BUILD A BRIDGE, AND GET OVER IT. I've been hurt.... you know that just as much as God Himself does. I have been SOOO hurt, I just wanted to give up, and quit..... but do I love my dad??? YES. Did I live after Jeff??? WHY YES I DID. Am I still here to love you after my parents split up, and my world changed in 24 hours??? YOU BET. And will I sit here and let you beat each other down bit by bit, and hurt each other but trying to NOT hurt each other, and all that junk??? NO WAY. I've done alot for you guys...... A LOT. Now..... PLEASE JUST DO THIS FOR ME. I KNOW YOU CAN DO THIS. Is it hard? yeah. Is it fun? nope. Is it worth it? Every single step. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a SINGLE step. TAKE IT PLEASE!!! PLEASE?!? Nothing good was ever worth while if wasn't HARD.... I learned that. You know it too.... so come on already. Is it really worth all this to be this way?? Is it really worth all this pain? And the let-downs? And the wasted texts? No.... it isn't. Not even for me. Because I KNOW we were not led to this path for no stinkin random reason. SO JUST WALK WITH ME ALREADY. Quit lookin back, and thinkin twice. Don't make something that was so beautiful become so ugly. Please...... I'm just ready to love my friends at the same time, in the same place, and for them to love me back.... and right now.... you won't let me. Meet me halfway? You know... and Lord knows... I hardly ever ask for help..... please help me. PLEASE just help each other. We are supposed to be like Jesus.... and He forgave us for every little thing.... the lies, the words said, the dirtiness, the parties, the shy and sheltered ignorance, the everything..... ultimate. I love you so so much.... I don't want to lose you to each other's persona's of negative belief.... I just love you guys.... please, just forgive. And love each other anyways. I do it for you, do it for ME by doing it for each other. I can't live my life without you guys.... but I NEED ALL OF YOU..... not these half-persons that I've seen lately. You took a part of each other..... now give it back, and SHARE. We're each lacking, and not whole without the other. And if we were.... I wouldn't be writing this, and you wouldn't both be so stressed right now. But TOGETHER..... we're one beautiful and awesome blessing. Please don't take that away from yourselves...... you both suck, and so do I.... but I love those parts too. Even NOW!!! So just love each other's... because one day, we'll need it so so badly.... and this is where it has to happen. God... please please please...... love. I love you....... please just do this. Dig deep, and look past yourselves..... and I know we can do this. I know it. We're meant to be strong... TOGETHER. I can't do this without you guys.... now just do it with me. Our lives are just starting.... we can't afford to be absent, or angry. It'll slip away, and we'll regret it forever. That's why I wrote this.... cuz if I don't, I will regret it forever. I want both of you at my wedding, in my house, in my LIFE..... please just be the blessing to each other that you are to me. If we were perfect it'd be boring.... so just love it. Love what makes you suck... each other, and ourselves....... and it'll be ok. I promise. Please..... please...... please....... God please.
Stop saying ME ME ME ME ME, I I I I I........ stop saying she said, she said, she said...... and stop saying I can't I can't I can't. THAT IS LAME
DID OUR SAVIOR SAY ME ME ME???? OR I I I??? NOPE..... he said you you you, we we we, and LORD LORD LORD. He didn't say he said, she said, they said..... he said I'll HELP, I'll LOVE. DID HE SAY ANYTHING ABOUT I CAN'T, I CAN'T, I JUST CAN'T????? Well, if He did.... WE WOULDN'T HAVE CHRISTMAS, OR EASTER!!!!
Reality check...... LIFE DOES SUCK. LIFE IS NOT FAIR. AND IT AIN'T EASY BEING A CHRISTIAN WOMAN..... IF IT WERE, EVERYONE WOULD BE DOING IT!!!!
The point is...... I love you people more than anything.... YEAH, EVEN MORE THAN RYAN. Ask him about what I've been praying about most...... YOU GUYS!!!
I'm ready for you to get it over with. I'm ready for you to stop being selfish, and quit quitting. I'm ready to hear I think I will, I think I can, I think I probably should. Why do you guys think I'm your friend?? Why do you think I'm such a good one?? Because..... it's not about me. It's not about what I can't do. It's about US. It's about HOW we make each other better. Consider this yet another contribution in my efforts to LOVE YOU....... BUILD A BRIDGE, AND GET OVER IT. I've been hurt.... you know that just as much as God Himself does. I have been SOOO hurt, I just wanted to give up, and quit..... but do I love my dad??? YES. Did I live after Jeff??? WHY YES I DID. Am I still here to love you after my parents split up, and my world changed in 24 hours??? YOU BET. And will I sit here and let you beat each other down bit by bit, and hurt each other but trying to NOT hurt each other, and all that junk??? NO WAY. I've done alot for you guys...... A LOT. Now..... PLEASE JUST DO THIS FOR ME. I KNOW YOU CAN DO THIS. Is it hard? yeah. Is it fun? nope. Is it worth it? Every single step. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a SINGLE step. TAKE IT PLEASE!!! PLEASE?!? Nothing good was ever worth while if wasn't HARD.... I learned that. You know it too.... so come on already. Is it really worth all this to be this way?? Is it really worth all this pain? And the let-downs? And the wasted texts? No.... it isn't. Not even for me. Because I KNOW we were not led to this path for no stinkin random reason. SO JUST WALK WITH ME ALREADY. Quit lookin back, and thinkin twice. Don't make something that was so beautiful become so ugly. Please...... I'm just ready to love my friends at the same time, in the same place, and for them to love me back.... and right now.... you won't let me. Meet me halfway? You know... and Lord knows... I hardly ever ask for help..... please help me. PLEASE just help each other. We are supposed to be like Jesus.... and He forgave us for every little thing.... the lies, the words said, the dirtiness, the parties, the shy and sheltered ignorance, the everything..... ultimate. I love you so so much.... I don't want to lose you to each other's persona's of negative belief.... I just love you guys.... please, just forgive. And love each other anyways. I do it for you, do it for ME by doing it for each other. I can't live my life without you guys.... but I NEED ALL OF YOU..... not these half-persons that I've seen lately. You took a part of each other..... now give it back, and SHARE. We're each lacking, and not whole without the other. And if we were.... I wouldn't be writing this, and you wouldn't both be so stressed right now. But TOGETHER..... we're one beautiful and awesome blessing. Please don't take that away from yourselves...... you both suck, and so do I.... but I love those parts too. Even NOW!!! So just love each other's... because one day, we'll need it so so badly.... and this is where it has to happen. God... please please please...... love. I love you....... please just do this. Dig deep, and look past yourselves..... and I know we can do this. I know it. We're meant to be strong... TOGETHER. I can't do this without you guys.... now just do it with me. Our lives are just starting.... we can't afford to be absent, or angry. It'll slip away, and we'll regret it forever. That's why I wrote this.... cuz if I don't, I will regret it forever. I want both of you at my wedding, in my house, in my LIFE..... please just be the blessing to each other that you are to me. If we were perfect it'd be boring.... so just love it. Love what makes you suck... each other, and ourselves....... and it'll be ok. I promise. Please..... please...... please....... God please.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Boycott Booty Shorts
I know, I know, I know. It sounds so vindictive. But I'm actually really serious about it. I'm tired of it. As a female who has to walk around on this earth for only God knows how long on the two legs He gave me... I'm sick and tired of seeing every single other females butt cheeks. SICK of it. And this personal boycott isn't JUST for booty shorts... it's also for mini skirts, macro mini skirts, and dresses.
You know why?? Because it's so lame. WHY bother wearing tight shorts that give you wedgies and ride up anyways?? And a girl can't honestly say her shorts don't do that... at least the short ones anyways. (And even some long ones.) Why bother with a skirt that is so short that every time you go to sit down, someone somewhere can see your stinkin panties peekin out?? And why bother even wearing a dress that is so short you can't even bend over in it, or function normally, without seeing all of your glory?? I just hope the wind doesn't blow, which in Amarillo, it does everyday. Actually no, I think I DO want it to... cuz maybe those girls will stop wearin that stuff. I know these things.... I wore them too once upon a time. I am so beautiful though, and I love ME so much now, that I like to keep my legs, from about 3 inches above my knee all the way up to my butt, COVERED UP. You know, some shorts/skirts/dresses are just an inch OR LESS away from a girls own cooter!!! And guess what.... every single male walking on two legs and has something between them... KNOWS THAT TOO!!!
I'm a Christian. Flat out. That doesn't mean I'm a goody-good... it means I suck so bad I need Jesus and God to save me. It means I try every single day to be the best I can be. And I can't do that if I'm wearing something that later on that night, some male who saw me in those shorts/skirt/dress is picturing me in their bedroom. And girls think that doesn't happen... yes it does. Isn't that so terrible, those nasty boys, right??? Wrong. I believe 100% that the responsibility lies on US WOMEN to stop letting ourselves be that image. I realized that about 3 years ago, and I'm GLAD. BUT... don't think for even one second that Christian girls are not in this category, because you'd be completely wrong.
For example... I recently went to the Switchfoot concert in Amarillo.... and I was so ANGRY. Because there were girls everywhere JUST LIKE THAT. Christian girls. Like me. (Except for the clothes.) True story. I literally CRIED because I was so frustrated and disgusted!!!! It was extremely hard for me to love my boyfriend of TWO YEARS with girls walking around looking like that. I could hardly stand it. And if you think "if they're really in love they won't look".... that's a lie, and even better, that is an excuse. Because it is literally impossible for males to ignore. Proven fact. Christian or sexist pig.... they can't. Christian men just wish those women would GO HOME and change so they can honor their wives without silly interruptions the way God honors US everyday. And it isn't' very honoring to Him to dress that way. God wouldn't gallivant around here with His shirt off here on earth showing off His body.... why should we???? We need to protect each other from this sin!! My boyfriend would be really mad if all the guys at that concert had no shirts except him cuz he's a good Christian that loves me, and were trying to love me when I could hardly focus cuz every where I looked a half naked man was walking in front of me!! It's not jealousy..... it's RESPECT!!
Any girl can wear that stuff.... but a real woman doesn't HAVE to!!! And girls can't say, "You're just mad cuz you don't have anything to show off, you don't have anything to flaunt...". Hahaha!!! WRONG honies..... oh YES I DO..... I just have someone who loves me very much and I would never show my body off in return. I would be single. I have a temple that God gave me to GLORIFY HIS image, not mine. It makes us girls like me feel like crap... because culturally THAT is what is accepted. It's one of those things where doing the right thing is not cool, and it is hard. But hey..... here's a secret... that is exactly what being a Christian is all about!!! If it were easy and cool, EVERYONE would be a Christian... but it's not, it's a challenge and it's discipline! So I challenged myself to this boycott.... and everyone who reads this.... I challenge YOU. Male or female. This isn't okay. It might be cool and pretty, and sexy in public, on media, and everywhere.... but it's STILL not okay. And I feel pretty, cool and sexy every day of my life.... and I do NOT dress that way. And my boyfriend thinks so too, without those clothes, and he loves me for that much and more. Save those things for the place they belong.... either on the RACK where you see them, or in the privacy of your OWN room/home where the ONLY people who need and deserve to enjoy those things are. (Meaning your own self or if you're married, your spouse.) It's unjustified, and unnecessary. If I could, I would ban stores from selling it... because then nobody could dress that way, and it wouldn't matter so much because it wouldn't be a problem. It would be cool to NOT have to show so much. My contribution is THIS.... my personal booty short boycott.
Superchick So Beautiful Lyrics:
We are a thousand voices strong
We are each girl who sings this song
We are a beauty that's our own
And we are, and we are
So Beautiful
We are light, we were born beautiful
We were meant to be more than these shadows of girls
They cut us down to size, afraid we'll change the world
But we'll fight for your right to be beautiful girls
If every girl could see her beauty,
We would be an army
We are a thousand voices strong
We are each girl who sings this song
We are a beauty that's our own
And we are, and we are
So Beautiful
We have dreams we were born to fulfill
We were meant to be more than just fairytale girls
We are colors so bright, each a beautiful girl
We are stars in the night, and we're changing the world
When every girl can see her beauty,
We will be an army
We are thousand voices strong
We are each girl who sings this song
We are a beauty that's our own
And we are, and we are
So Beautiful
You know why?? Because it's so lame. WHY bother wearing tight shorts that give you wedgies and ride up anyways?? And a girl can't honestly say her shorts don't do that... at least the short ones anyways. (And even some long ones.) Why bother with a skirt that is so short that every time you go to sit down, someone somewhere can see your stinkin panties peekin out?? And why bother even wearing a dress that is so short you can't even bend over in it, or function normally, without seeing all of your glory?? I just hope the wind doesn't blow, which in Amarillo, it does everyday. Actually no, I think I DO want it to... cuz maybe those girls will stop wearin that stuff. I know these things.... I wore them too once upon a time. I am so beautiful though, and I love ME so much now, that I like to keep my legs, from about 3 inches above my knee all the way up to my butt, COVERED UP. You know, some shorts/skirts/dresses are just an inch OR LESS away from a girls own cooter!!! And guess what.... every single male walking on two legs and has something between them... KNOWS THAT TOO!!!
I'm a Christian. Flat out. That doesn't mean I'm a goody-good... it means I suck so bad I need Jesus and God to save me. It means I try every single day to be the best I can be. And I can't do that if I'm wearing something that later on that night, some male who saw me in those shorts/skirt/dress is picturing me in their bedroom. And girls think that doesn't happen... yes it does. Isn't that so terrible, those nasty boys, right??? Wrong. I believe 100% that the responsibility lies on US WOMEN to stop letting ourselves be that image. I realized that about 3 years ago, and I'm GLAD. BUT... don't think for even one second that Christian girls are not in this category, because you'd be completely wrong.
For example... I recently went to the Switchfoot concert in Amarillo.... and I was so ANGRY. Because there were girls everywhere JUST LIKE THAT. Christian girls. Like me. (Except for the clothes.) True story. I literally CRIED because I was so frustrated and disgusted!!!! It was extremely hard for me to love my boyfriend of TWO YEARS with girls walking around looking like that. I could hardly stand it. And if you think "if they're really in love they won't look".... that's a lie, and even better, that is an excuse. Because it is literally impossible for males to ignore. Proven fact. Christian or sexist pig.... they can't. Christian men just wish those women would GO HOME and change so they can honor their wives without silly interruptions the way God honors US everyday. And it isn't' very honoring to Him to dress that way. God wouldn't gallivant around here with His shirt off here on earth showing off His body.... why should we???? We need to protect each other from this sin!! My boyfriend would be really mad if all the guys at that concert had no shirts except him cuz he's a good Christian that loves me, and were trying to love me when I could hardly focus cuz every where I looked a half naked man was walking in front of me!! It's not jealousy..... it's RESPECT!!
Any girl can wear that stuff.... but a real woman doesn't HAVE to!!! And girls can't say, "You're just mad cuz you don't have anything to show off, you don't have anything to flaunt...". Hahaha!!! WRONG honies..... oh YES I DO..... I just have someone who loves me very much and I would never show my body off in return. I would be single. I have a temple that God gave me to GLORIFY HIS image, not mine. It makes us girls like me feel like crap... because culturally THAT is what is accepted. It's one of those things where doing the right thing is not cool, and it is hard. But hey..... here's a secret... that is exactly what being a Christian is all about!!! If it were easy and cool, EVERYONE would be a Christian... but it's not, it's a challenge and it's discipline! So I challenged myself to this boycott.... and everyone who reads this.... I challenge YOU. Male or female. This isn't okay. It might be cool and pretty, and sexy in public, on media, and everywhere.... but it's STILL not okay. And I feel pretty, cool and sexy every day of my life.... and I do NOT dress that way. And my boyfriend thinks so too, without those clothes, and he loves me for that much and more. Save those things for the place they belong.... either on the RACK where you see them, or in the privacy of your OWN room/home where the ONLY people who need and deserve to enjoy those things are. (Meaning your own self or if you're married, your spouse.) It's unjustified, and unnecessary. If I could, I would ban stores from selling it... because then nobody could dress that way, and it wouldn't matter so much because it wouldn't be a problem. It would be cool to NOT have to show so much. My contribution is THIS.... my personal booty short boycott.
Superchick So Beautiful Lyrics:
We are a thousand voices strong
We are each girl who sings this song
We are a beauty that's our own
And we are, and we are
So Beautiful
We are light, we were born beautiful
We were meant to be more than these shadows of girls
They cut us down to size, afraid we'll change the world
But we'll fight for your right to be beautiful girls
If every girl could see her beauty,
We would be an army
We are a thousand voices strong
We are each girl who sings this song
We are a beauty that's our own
And we are, and we are
So Beautiful
We have dreams we were born to fulfill
We were meant to be more than just fairytale girls
We are colors so bright, each a beautiful girl
We are stars in the night, and we're changing the world
When every girl can see her beauty,
We will be an army
We are thousand voices strong
We are each girl who sings this song
We are a beauty that's our own
And we are, and we are
So Beautiful
Monday, August 3, 2009
To Number 22.....
You make my heart skip beats and beat faster at the same time.
Your hand asked what your mouth wouldn't, then my hand said, "Yes, I'll go out with you."
That was all it took, and here we are 2 years later.
I was 14 when I first saw you across the courtyard, I'm 19 and still amazed.
Sometimes I feel like a jigsaw puzzle, and you just make me feel complete.
Other times, I just know our hands were made to hold each others.
Because God made you... I know He's in love with me.
I love your smile, so I like making you laugh so it will reappear.
You are the best friend that I've ever had,
You're the best team mate I have ever gotten to play with,
You are the best boyfriend I will always get to love.
You promise me... and you do it.
You tell me... and I believe you.
I would follow you anywhere, I told you that when I was 16.
Now I'm 19, and I just can't picture having any US, without the U.
You make me burn in places of my heart that I never even knew existed.
For the first time ever... there are 3 in this relationship,
And He, God Himself, makes us so perfect together while we're so imperfect.
I watched your games, and I didn't even think I existed to you.
And then we were both number 22,
Now I exist, but I still like to sneak peeks at you just cuz you're you.
In the courtyard I asked my friends if I looked okay,
Then I asked if you looked at me,
And for some reason you still do everyday.
Somehow all roads led to YOU.
Our names are like a one-word name now that our friends use to shorten things up.
Sometimes, I love you so much I forget you even need to hear it.
I like telling you... because you tell me too.
When my eyes get cloudy, and start to rain...
Your shoulder is the warm grass I can always fall on.
We're not just cute and hot and sexy to each other... no way.
It's handsome and beautiful and amazing.
I didn't wait my whole life to find you...
I cried, laughed, and learned my way to earn you when I did.
Losing you would be like losing a thumb....
I would live, but I just can't get a grip without you.
If you and me were the last ones on the whole Earth...
I would still wait until we were married.
That's how special you are to me.
For the first time in my life saying you won't love me tomorrow
Would be like saying the sun won't shine at all tomorrow.
For the first time, my dad completely approves and it even makes him cry.
No Harley will ever make him happier than when he sees me so happy with you.
It feels like only this summer we watched that Pirates of the Caribbean movie...
But it feels like eternity when I feel our love.
I prayed when that movie ended that I would just be able to keep you....
And I still do.
I love you.
Your hand asked what your mouth wouldn't, then my hand said, "Yes, I'll go out with you."
That was all it took, and here we are 2 years later.
I was 14 when I first saw you across the courtyard, I'm 19 and still amazed.
Sometimes I feel like a jigsaw puzzle, and you just make me feel complete.
Other times, I just know our hands were made to hold each others.
Because God made you... I know He's in love with me.
I love your smile, so I like making you laugh so it will reappear.
You are the best friend that I've ever had,
You're the best team mate I have ever gotten to play with,
You are the best boyfriend I will always get to love.
You promise me... and you do it.
You tell me... and I believe you.
I would follow you anywhere, I told you that when I was 16.
Now I'm 19, and I just can't picture having any US, without the U.
You make me burn in places of my heart that I never even knew existed.
For the first time ever... there are 3 in this relationship,
And He, God Himself, makes us so perfect together while we're so imperfect.
I watched your games, and I didn't even think I existed to you.
And then we were both number 22,
Now I exist, but I still like to sneak peeks at you just cuz you're you.
In the courtyard I asked my friends if I looked okay,
Then I asked if you looked at me,
And for some reason you still do everyday.
Somehow all roads led to YOU.
Our names are like a one-word name now that our friends use to shorten things up.
Sometimes, I love you so much I forget you even need to hear it.
I like telling you... because you tell me too.
When my eyes get cloudy, and start to rain...
Your shoulder is the warm grass I can always fall on.
We're not just cute and hot and sexy to each other... no way.
It's handsome and beautiful and amazing.
I didn't wait my whole life to find you...
I cried, laughed, and learned my way to earn you when I did.
Losing you would be like losing a thumb....
I would live, but I just can't get a grip without you.
If you and me were the last ones on the whole Earth...
I would still wait until we were married.
That's how special you are to me.
For the first time in my life saying you won't love me tomorrow
Would be like saying the sun won't shine at all tomorrow.
For the first time, my dad completely approves and it even makes him cry.
No Harley will ever make him happier than when he sees me so happy with you.
It feels like only this summer we watched that Pirates of the Caribbean movie...
But it feels like eternity when I feel our love.
I prayed when that movie ended that I would just be able to keep you....
And I still do.
I love you.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Wendy....
All I am going to post here for now is this....
You can do it. Everything we talked about... I'm rooting for you. Go for it. Don't be afraid to mess up, you can't do anything about that... but be afraid to miss out, and DO something about it.
You can do it. Everything we talked about... I'm rooting for you. Go for it. Don't be afraid to mess up, you can't do anything about that... but be afraid to miss out, and DO something about it.
My 101 in 1001! :)
1. Graduate from college
2. Get back in shape, and back to my "comfy" weight.
(DONE!!!) 3. Go horseback riding again like I used to
4. Ride a dirt bike
5. Study abroad
6. Be instrumental in helping to bring someone to Christ
7. Be as much, if not more, in love with Ryan as I am today :)
8. Visit my brother Randy, frequently.
9. BUNGEE JUMP
10. Go on an awesome picnic with Ryan
11. Buy my house
12. Breed my pugs Elvis and Priscilla
13. Get my mom to go to church with me...
(DONE!!!) 14. Get the 4 classic disney movies I need to complete my collection
15. Play the french horn again
16. Take Ryan to see the beach for his first time
17. Keep all the best friends I have now
18. See a Rangers game for the first time
19. Meet Nolan Ryan
20. Build a big snowman :)
21. See a hippopotamus (not a pigmey one either!)
22. Hit an in the field home run in softball
23. STAY in the Honors program at WTAMU
24. Take more awesome hat pictures with Ashley again
25. Change my new baby nephews' diaper after he's born
26. Ride my dad's new Harley
27. Shoot a hand gun
28. Go hunting
29. Visit Canada
30. Get an hour long massage by a professional
31. Visit an old old gothic style cathedral
32. Dance in the rain
(DONE!!) 33. Go fishing
34. Help our church out with some kind of big gift
(DONE!!)35. Watch my brother race his car
36. Win something from the crane machine
37. Spend $100 on other people
38. Make mexican rice like my grandma's
39. Play Zoo/Roller Caoster Tycoon for as long as I want one day
40. Go snowboarding again
41. Make hot sauce
42. Get Stephanie on a date!
43. See Crystal get engaged to Frank
44. Take all 3 of my dogs to the dog park
45. Go to Fall Retreat for church... and be one of the youngest people there!! :P
46. Spend one day with God, and God only.
47. Learn to play Amazing Grace on my guitar
48. Get an 85 or better in calculus
49. On a road trip, stop and see all the historical markers
50. Go on a cruise
51. See a wild bear
52. Make a financial investment for my future
53. Go shoe shopping with amazing freinds
(DONE!!!) 54. Paint my room
(DONE!!) 55. Decorate my own room, and LOVE it
(DONE!!) 56. Write another poem for the first time in a long while
(DONE!!!) 57. Laugh SO hard, I cry
58. NOT forget to sign up for scholarships! :/
59. Keep using "zizzled" in place of "pissed". :)
60. Have my dad visit my church and see me singing
61. Try a spray tan. lol
62. Paint my toenails ALL different colors, like I used to when I was little. :D
63. Read a book I have NEVER heard of
64. Watch an OU sport live, AT the game.
65. Run in a cancer race in honor of my dad.
66. Get my dog Cooper a hair cut.
67. Get a laptop
68. Stop my bad habits of biting my fingers and playing with my hair
69. Mow my lawn
(DONE!!!) 70. Start a blog. :/
71. Play BINGO... somewhere. lol.
(DONE!!!) 72. Kiss in the rain
73. Write about all of these, and their stories.
74. Go camping again with the youth group. :)
75. Go "out" one night with Steph. lol.
76. Take a random day trip with Ryan
77. BUY a french horn
78. Ride the Texas Titian at 6 Flags 6 times in a row at Naz Nite. :)
79. Get my savings account back up to $5,000
80.
81.
82.
83.
84.
85.
86.
87.
88.
89.
90.
91.
92.
93.
94.
95.
96.
97.
98.
99.
100.
101.
2. Get back in shape, and back to my "comfy" weight.
(DONE!!!) 3. Go horseback riding again like I used to
4. Ride a dirt bike
5. Study abroad
6. Be instrumental in helping to bring someone to Christ
7. Be as much, if not more, in love with Ryan as I am today :)
8. Visit my brother Randy, frequently.
9. BUNGEE JUMP
10. Go on an awesome picnic with Ryan
11. Buy my house
12. Breed my pugs Elvis and Priscilla
13. Get my mom to go to church with me...
(DONE!!!) 14. Get the 4 classic disney movies I need to complete my collection
15. Play the french horn again
16. Take Ryan to see the beach for his first time
17. Keep all the best friends I have now
18. See a Rangers game for the first time
19. Meet Nolan Ryan
20. Build a big snowman :)
21. See a hippopotamus (not a pigmey one either!)
22. Hit an in the field home run in softball
23. STAY in the Honors program at WTAMU
24. Take more awesome hat pictures with Ashley again
25. Change my new baby nephews' diaper after he's born
26. Ride my dad's new Harley
27. Shoot a hand gun
28. Go hunting
29. Visit Canada
30. Get an hour long massage by a professional
31. Visit an old old gothic style cathedral
32. Dance in the rain
(DONE!!) 33. Go fishing
34. Help our church out with some kind of big gift
(DONE!!)35. Watch my brother race his car
36. Win something from the crane machine
37. Spend $100 on other people
38. Make mexican rice like my grandma's
39. Play Zoo/Roller Caoster Tycoon for as long as I want one day
40. Go snowboarding again
41. Make hot sauce
42. Get Stephanie on a date!
43. See Crystal get engaged to Frank
44. Take all 3 of my dogs to the dog park
45. Go to Fall Retreat for church... and be one of the youngest people there!! :P
46. Spend one day with God, and God only.
47. Learn to play Amazing Grace on my guitar
48. Get an 85 or better in calculus
49. On a road trip, stop and see all the historical markers
50. Go on a cruise
51. See a wild bear
52. Make a financial investment for my future
53. Go shoe shopping with amazing freinds
(DONE!!!) 54. Paint my room
(DONE!!) 55. Decorate my own room, and LOVE it
(DONE!!) 56. Write another poem for the first time in a long while
(DONE!!!) 57. Laugh SO hard, I cry
58. NOT forget to sign up for scholarships! :/
59. Keep using "zizzled" in place of "pissed". :)
60. Have my dad visit my church and see me singing
61. Try a spray tan. lol
62. Paint my toenails ALL different colors, like I used to when I was little. :D
63. Read a book I have NEVER heard of
64. Watch an OU sport live, AT the game.
65. Run in a cancer race in honor of my dad.
66. Get my dog Cooper a hair cut.
67. Get a laptop
68. Stop my bad habits of biting my fingers and playing with my hair
69. Mow my lawn
(DONE!!!) 70. Start a blog. :/
71. Play BINGO... somewhere. lol.
(DONE!!!) 72. Kiss in the rain
73. Write about all of these, and their stories.
74. Go camping again with the youth group. :)
75. Go "out" one night with Steph. lol.
76. Take a random day trip with Ryan
77. BUY a french horn
78. Ride the Texas Titian at 6 Flags 6 times in a row at Naz Nite. :)
79. Get my savings account back up to $5,000
80.
81.
82.
83.
84.
85.
86.
87.
88.
89.
90.
91.
92.
93.
94.
95.
96.
97.
98.
99.
100.
101.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
My Big Bad Dad...
Well, tonight I think I will write about the person on my mind... my dad. I saw him today, and EVERY time I see him, I feel better. He is such a great dad.
His name is Ron. Ron England. ;) He's also a cop, and really good one at that. He lives a life that most people aren't cut out for, because he wears a bullet proof vest, and would sacrifice his life at the drop of a hat if he had to.
Actually, I used to absolutely, positively, with every fiber of my being, HATE my dad. No joke. I hated the man. You see... I look just like my mom, but I ACT just like my dad, and I think THAT is what added fuel to the fires between us. We're very VERY alike, and when I was younger, I couldn't stand him.
But then he went to Iraq.... and I was so ashamed of how mean and selfish I had been. I missed him so much. I cried because I just wanted him to be home, to pick on me, and help me out, and to argue with me even. He got shot over there... and that changes a little girl's perspective of her daddy. I realized I could have lost him... and here I was being so hateful most of the time. And some people never even get a dad in their life... and I took mine for granted. So I wrote him a letter... now we BOTH have a way with our words, and mine was one of those letters that really hit home. I know he still has it. I've seen him read it even after he got home. Then.... the divorce came.
When it came, the divorce came hard. I was barely a sophomore in high school, and then he was gone again, except this time by choice, and he was in the same town. And I was mad. I didn't hate him, but I wished I could. I had just found a church... and through it, I had learned alot of things about life, me, and the world. I loved it... and then I didn't understand why God did that to me. Not until very later did I ever realize His plan. But, we went through the motions, I kept my emotional distance, cuz I was sick of being hurt. He got married. Her name is Rebecca, and she is my step mom. She is a great person, really awesome woman. I liked her... but not with my dad. No way jose. It took time, but I got used to it... not comfortably, but I was ok. Then my Big Bad Dad (I gave him that name when I was 7, and he was a SWAT officer.) got sick.
He'd been sick for awhile before they found out. I got a call... my dad had 6 months to live. SIX MONTHS. By this time, I was a christian, my life was so good... but this time I wasn't mad at God. My dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer in the kidney, liver, and lungs on June 22 of 2007, and it was progressing to his heart, and because of that, they could not operate. I'd only been dating Ryan for barely a month.... but I called him. I cried, not like a baby.... like a daddy's girl losing her daddy. My mind raced. Death AGAIN made me change my mind... God made me change my mind. What was I gonna do? Christmas was going to be terrible. It was 8 days before my birthday. He would never see me graduate high school. Never see me into college. My dad was gonna miss my wedding... that was when my heart shattered. He was gonna miss seeing my kids, and holding them. The future is what killed me. I made it my life mission to make up for everything. I went to see my dad when I knew we could handle the situation... but we still cried. I could no longer NOT like my step mom. She was helping my dad so much. They had been going to church, and she was a major part of that. He hadn't really gone much before he married her. So... I had my church, Ryan's church (now my church), my friend's churches, and my dad's church, ALL praying for this man. This one dying man.... not to save his life... but to BE SAVED spiritually, and for healing, and for patience, and for comfort, ohhhh for comfort. All I did was pray. I wasn't gonna give up on my big bad dad.... not now. He was fighting this, physically, emotionally, mentally, and now spiritually. He was still working, trying to be normal.
If you've ever experienced cancer, or seen someone really close to you go through it.... it IS agony. My big bad dad could "fix anything... except maybe a broken heart." that's what he always said. And he could. Anything. Here he was loosing his thick hair, his mustache that always tickled me when he kissed me, he was itchy. Everywhere, he was itchy and blotchy. His lost weight, and his big muscles were not as big. He couldn't ride his Harley Davidson motorcycle anymore. He could hardly make it through his shift at work, and he had to be put on days, because night time came, and he was too weak. The chemo, and radiation made him sick. He had to take so many medicines.... soooo expensive just to try and survive. His head was bald, and his head hurt all the time from all the stuff going on with his body. And all the while...... everyone prayed.
That November, in 2007, THREE days before Thanksgiving Day.... he called me. The doctors told him that between the two weeks he had been scanned and that day.... the cancer in his liver vanished. The cancer in his kidney was gone. One of his lungs was now spotless. And it had receded from his heart, and now only his left lung had cancer. It was then I knew. I knew that God knew what he was doing. We prayed, cried, and asked of Him.... and He had delivered. If that isn't a true MIRACLE, then I don't know what IS. It was amazing. He was supposed to die, he could never have fought that cancer... only God could. Oh the joy, I was in the car driving to eat with Ryan and his parents... the sun was setting.... and I cried out, and just smiled. :) It still makes me smile. That news made my heart soo soo happy. I called everyone. lol. I called him, and we waited to tell his parents until I got there.... and Ryan's mom, Donna, she cried with me. lol. It was truly, and honestly amazing.
He was baptized, and saved that following March or so. He lived. HE LIVED. He inspired me so much, I wrote all my college entrance essays about him. I still tell his story... because it is true. He is a great man. I think God broke him to save him. I think God had to put him on his knees with cancer in order for my dad to seek Him, and in order for me to put the past behind, and just love my dad. Here we are, and he is CANCER FREE. He's working, and back to riding his Harley. He loves his life so much. He teaches a Sunday school class at his church with my step mom. After all this... he is a better dad, and just a better man period. He HAD to meet my step mom. He had to go to church with her. :) One day... my dad and I were sitting on his porch, just sittin together, out in the country at his house, and he looked at me and said, "You know kiddo, you and me.... we really did turn a 180 degrees didn't we? We did it." That stinkin man, lol... boy I cried. (We hate crying, but we're the ones who make each other cry the easiest.) And I said, "Nah... we totally suck... God did it." :)
He still calls me Baby Scoot. I still call him big bad dad. I still pick on him. We still pick on my sister. lol. He's gonna be there.... for my future. He saw me graduate. He saw me go to West Texas A&M... he even kept a copy of every single essay I wrote about him. He will dance with me at my wedding. He loves Ryan to death. :P And he will get to give my kids "woogie woogies", makin 'em laugh till they cry too. :) I'm my dad's baby. I'm his last kid, the youngest child, the daddy's little princess, and little girl. We ARE so alike, and I'm so proud of that now. I want to be like him. If I'm HALF the person he is, I'll be grateful. And that's how it should be. I tell people, actually I brag really, about my dad all the time. He's so awesome. :P However, I realized very recently... people always want to meet my dad when I tell about him.... but they already have. Because they met me.
I love you Big Bad Dad. :)
His name is Ron. Ron England. ;) He's also a cop, and really good one at that. He lives a life that most people aren't cut out for, because he wears a bullet proof vest, and would sacrifice his life at the drop of a hat if he had to.
Actually, I used to absolutely, positively, with every fiber of my being, HATE my dad. No joke. I hated the man. You see... I look just like my mom, but I ACT just like my dad, and I think THAT is what added fuel to the fires between us. We're very VERY alike, and when I was younger, I couldn't stand him.
But then he went to Iraq.... and I was so ashamed of how mean and selfish I had been. I missed him so much. I cried because I just wanted him to be home, to pick on me, and help me out, and to argue with me even. He got shot over there... and that changes a little girl's perspective of her daddy. I realized I could have lost him... and here I was being so hateful most of the time. And some people never even get a dad in their life... and I took mine for granted. So I wrote him a letter... now we BOTH have a way with our words, and mine was one of those letters that really hit home. I know he still has it. I've seen him read it even after he got home. Then.... the divorce came.
When it came, the divorce came hard. I was barely a sophomore in high school, and then he was gone again, except this time by choice, and he was in the same town. And I was mad. I didn't hate him, but I wished I could. I had just found a church... and through it, I had learned alot of things about life, me, and the world. I loved it... and then I didn't understand why God did that to me. Not until very later did I ever realize His plan. But, we went through the motions, I kept my emotional distance, cuz I was sick of being hurt. He got married. Her name is Rebecca, and she is my step mom. She is a great person, really awesome woman. I liked her... but not with my dad. No way jose. It took time, but I got used to it... not comfortably, but I was ok. Then my Big Bad Dad (I gave him that name when I was 7, and he was a SWAT officer.) got sick.
He'd been sick for awhile before they found out. I got a call... my dad had 6 months to live. SIX MONTHS. By this time, I was a christian, my life was so good... but this time I wasn't mad at God. My dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer in the kidney, liver, and lungs on June 22 of 2007, and it was progressing to his heart, and because of that, they could not operate. I'd only been dating Ryan for barely a month.... but I called him. I cried, not like a baby.... like a daddy's girl losing her daddy. My mind raced. Death AGAIN made me change my mind... God made me change my mind. What was I gonna do? Christmas was going to be terrible. It was 8 days before my birthday. He would never see me graduate high school. Never see me into college. My dad was gonna miss my wedding... that was when my heart shattered. He was gonna miss seeing my kids, and holding them. The future is what killed me. I made it my life mission to make up for everything. I went to see my dad when I knew we could handle the situation... but we still cried. I could no longer NOT like my step mom. She was helping my dad so much. They had been going to church, and she was a major part of that. He hadn't really gone much before he married her. So... I had my church, Ryan's church (now my church), my friend's churches, and my dad's church, ALL praying for this man. This one dying man.... not to save his life... but to BE SAVED spiritually, and for healing, and for patience, and for comfort, ohhhh for comfort. All I did was pray. I wasn't gonna give up on my big bad dad.... not now. He was fighting this, physically, emotionally, mentally, and now spiritually. He was still working, trying to be normal.
If you've ever experienced cancer, or seen someone really close to you go through it.... it IS agony. My big bad dad could "fix anything... except maybe a broken heart." that's what he always said. And he could. Anything. Here he was loosing his thick hair, his mustache that always tickled me when he kissed me, he was itchy. Everywhere, he was itchy and blotchy. His lost weight, and his big muscles were not as big. He couldn't ride his Harley Davidson motorcycle anymore. He could hardly make it through his shift at work, and he had to be put on days, because night time came, and he was too weak. The chemo, and radiation made him sick. He had to take so many medicines.... soooo expensive just to try and survive. His head was bald, and his head hurt all the time from all the stuff going on with his body. And all the while...... everyone prayed.
That November, in 2007, THREE days before Thanksgiving Day.... he called me. The doctors told him that between the two weeks he had been scanned and that day.... the cancer in his liver vanished. The cancer in his kidney was gone. One of his lungs was now spotless. And it had receded from his heart, and now only his left lung had cancer. It was then I knew. I knew that God knew what he was doing. We prayed, cried, and asked of Him.... and He had delivered. If that isn't a true MIRACLE, then I don't know what IS. It was amazing. He was supposed to die, he could never have fought that cancer... only God could. Oh the joy, I was in the car driving to eat with Ryan and his parents... the sun was setting.... and I cried out, and just smiled. :) It still makes me smile. That news made my heart soo soo happy. I called everyone. lol. I called him, and we waited to tell his parents until I got there.... and Ryan's mom, Donna, she cried with me. lol. It was truly, and honestly amazing.
He was baptized, and saved that following March or so. He lived. HE LIVED. He inspired me so much, I wrote all my college entrance essays about him. I still tell his story... because it is true. He is a great man. I think God broke him to save him. I think God had to put him on his knees with cancer in order for my dad to seek Him, and in order for me to put the past behind, and just love my dad. Here we are, and he is CANCER FREE. He's working, and back to riding his Harley. He loves his life so much. He teaches a Sunday school class at his church with my step mom. After all this... he is a better dad, and just a better man period. He HAD to meet my step mom. He had to go to church with her. :) One day... my dad and I were sitting on his porch, just sittin together, out in the country at his house, and he looked at me and said, "You know kiddo, you and me.... we really did turn a 180 degrees didn't we? We did it." That stinkin man, lol... boy I cried. (We hate crying, but we're the ones who make each other cry the easiest.) And I said, "Nah... we totally suck... God did it." :)
He still calls me Baby Scoot. I still call him big bad dad. I still pick on him. We still pick on my sister. lol. He's gonna be there.... for my future. He saw me graduate. He saw me go to West Texas A&M... he even kept a copy of every single essay I wrote about him. He will dance with me at my wedding. He loves Ryan to death. :P And he will get to give my kids "woogie woogies", makin 'em laugh till they cry too. :) I'm my dad's baby. I'm his last kid, the youngest child, the daddy's little princess, and little girl. We ARE so alike, and I'm so proud of that now. I want to be like him. If I'm HALF the person he is, I'll be grateful. And that's how it should be. I tell people, actually I brag really, about my dad all the time. He's so awesome. :P However, I realized very recently... people always want to meet my dad when I tell about him.... but they already have. Because they met me.
I love you Big Bad Dad. :)
Monday, July 27, 2009
Not a Blogger....
Yes, it is true. I have a blog. I know I need it, some place to write, and vent probably.... but I just didn't want one, because I don't want to have this turn into what my myspace did.... lame. lol. :P I need to write again... yes Stephanie, I admitted it. Once upon a time, I was good at it, or so they tell me still.
I'm not really an onion, I don't have layers. I love God, and only by His grace... He loves me too. I love my family, more about them another time, and my friends. My friends keep me sane, and laughing. My numero uno, is Steph. (Who does NOT suck at softball anymore.) She has the patience for the both of us, since I have very little. We're different... WAY different. But, I like her that way. And I make her laugh, and I'm here for her. Because she stresses alot, I have to be the one to make her smile sometimes. :) I have a great group of friends... all of them. Jennifer, Jess, Justin, Lizard, Wendy, Elwin, Jarrett, Shelby, and Sarah. I love Jen alot. She's always been there.... even before we decided we were actually best friends. lol. We rock. :P Lizard came outta nowhere, and I doubted her existence when Justin started dating her, but I needed a girl like her. We share common likes and dislikes. Like uh... shoes, and alot! hehe. I can always just me the simple Serina I wanna be with them. No pretending, nothing... just me. Wendy came from out of the clear blue, and has really pulled me down to earth in some good ways. Challenging, but very rewarding. No matter what... I just love her. Simple as that. I love my boyfriend, Ryan. Alot. When all else fails... I have him. And when I have everything, he's there too. He IS my best friend, first and foremost. Then my boyfriend. He makes me better, and he makes me stronger. He is my compliment. He always seems to calm me down when I just can't. And make me smile when I just can't. I don't deserve him, and yet he still can't seem to get enough of me. I'm NOT lucky... I'm just way too blessed. :) And I'm glad. I love music. It's what I use to express myself when I don't have words. I love my chinese pugs, Elvis and Priscilla, they are AWESOME. Quite literally THE best dogs on earth. Period. hehe. That leads me to my next point.... I love Elvis, the King. My dad got me hooked when I was little, and I still love his music... thus, I have a dog named after him. lol. I'm keeping this blog short, because the blogs to come will have plenty, so why put all the stuff about me in one....
So, ok. I'm done. :) lol.
I'm not really an onion, I don't have layers. I love God, and only by His grace... He loves me too. I love my family, more about them another time, and my friends. My friends keep me sane, and laughing. My numero uno, is Steph. (Who does NOT suck at softball anymore.) She has the patience for the both of us, since I have very little. We're different... WAY different. But, I like her that way. And I make her laugh, and I'm here for her. Because she stresses alot, I have to be the one to make her smile sometimes. :) I have a great group of friends... all of them. Jennifer, Jess, Justin, Lizard, Wendy, Elwin, Jarrett, Shelby, and Sarah. I love Jen alot. She's always been there.... even before we decided we were actually best friends. lol. We rock. :P Lizard came outta nowhere, and I doubted her existence when Justin started dating her, but I needed a girl like her. We share common likes and dislikes. Like uh... shoes, and alot! hehe. I can always just me the simple Serina I wanna be with them. No pretending, nothing... just me. Wendy came from out of the clear blue, and has really pulled me down to earth in some good ways. Challenging, but very rewarding. No matter what... I just love her. Simple as that. I love my boyfriend, Ryan. Alot. When all else fails... I have him. And when I have everything, he's there too. He IS my best friend, first and foremost. Then my boyfriend. He makes me better, and he makes me stronger. He is my compliment. He always seems to calm me down when I just can't. And make me smile when I just can't. I don't deserve him, and yet he still can't seem to get enough of me. I'm NOT lucky... I'm just way too blessed. :) And I'm glad. I love music. It's what I use to express myself when I don't have words. I love my chinese pugs, Elvis and Priscilla, they are AWESOME. Quite literally THE best dogs on earth. Period. hehe. That leads me to my next point.... I love Elvis, the King. My dad got me hooked when I was little, and I still love his music... thus, I have a dog named after him. lol. I'm keeping this blog short, because the blogs to come will have plenty, so why put all the stuff about me in one....
So, ok. I'm done. :) lol.
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