Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Euphoria

I always dreamed of me and my wedding. The end. Me. My wedding. I always saw me, and I knew kinda what I wanted some stuff to be like. The truth is... I just never really saw it in my head like alot of girls do. No details. I never cared much to fill in those blanks. And, while dating go more serious in my teenage years... I was afraid to. That would be so vulnerable.... Serina?? Vulnerable?? Nohoho.... not outwardly at least. Plus, that can really freak some guys out, ya know... like the ones I dated. That's ok though... they never really looked like the person I'd be standing across from saying, "I do." They didn't fit the picture.... cuz it never felt right. I could never look at those guys and have my idea of a perfect Serina wedding just come flooding in. In some way or another... they were losers, and I... Serina Helen England... knew in my heart that I would marry a winner.



And here he is. Nathan Ryan Nelson. Nothing special.... and neither am I. But to each other, we're the whole world, the most special thing ever. I'm not Megan Fox, and he's not Brad Pitt. Sometimes we just make each other feel that way. I'm not a genious, and he's not a doctor. We're average. We have flaws that we love about each other, and some not so much. But the key is that we overlook those and just see how much we love each other and why. Then it's not so bad. We need each other. We are to the point where life isn't normal or complete without the other. Are we obsessed?? No. We're best friends. We care so much. I feel like I win just when he holds my hand. lol. He's a winner.... and he fits perfectly. And that is why my perfect Serina wedding is just focusing in.... and it's ok. Because he loves me, and he thinks I fit perfectly too. He has given me the best ideas of anyone. I never pushed him into anything... and he hasn't ever pushed me either... instead we walk together, side-by-side, hand-in-hand, and embrace it all together. We take our time. Always stopping to double-check. We enjoy things better this way. We know how each other ticks... and we now tick in unison. When I became a Christian... I decided I wanted a man to love me they way God loves us, his church. I prayed not for what I wanted, not for Ryan and I to last forever, not to get my way..... I prayed for God to get His way, for God's will to be my will, and my will to be His. And here I am.... basking in His love, and rewarded and blessed by Ryan's love.


So.... I've decided on dark blue and neon green. :) When I met Ryan, and we fell in love and had been in love for a good long while, one day he asked me. I told him I'd like either red or dark blue, and after deciding that everyone and their dog has red in their wedding... I picked dark blue. He recently picked the neon green after deciding we had to be the weird and quirky people we trully are. I love it. lol.


We also wanted to do some things different.... so these will be our wedding shoes:

http://www.nbwebexpress.com/detail.asp?style=U574NB1E

Mmmm hmmm, yes. They rock. We LOVE New Balances.... and we love us. :P

We will wear jersey's to our reception, after the formal stuff, like dancing. They will be dark blue, with neon green writing. On the front will be the words "Dream Team", "Newly-wed Nelson's", or "New Nelson Crew". :) On the back, where names go, there will be, "His Better Half" and "Her Better Half". Our jersey number's will both be 1/2. lol. :D They will be amazing no matter what. We'll wear black athletic shorts, with cool socks that'll match, and our wedding shoes. (We'll probably wear the socks for our wedding also. lol.)

Not to mention our root-beer fountain. We thought of that one together. We will have NO alcohol whatsoever... so root-beer it is, because we love root-beer SOO much. :) There will be a side table with water and tea. lol.

We can't get married in our church because nobody would fit.... so we want a bigger one, with stained glass windows.

I know for sure I want a matron of honor.... probably my beloved cousin Kaci. She woulda been my maid of honor, but now she's married and will be highly involved no matter what. (You know it's true!!) lol. And my beautiful friend Stephanie... ahhh yes.... you know it: maid of honor. Wendy (if she'll have me), Liz, my cousin Nichole, and perhaps a couple more.... my amazing bride's maids. I think Ryan is gonna have a harder time than I picking his man-crew. lol. Justin, Michael, Taylor, Jarrett if he is home, Jeff if he'll do it, and Elwin if he'll do it. Best man: Justin or Michael.... Ryan told me so. lol.

There'll be two blue-eyed ring bearers: his nephew Chase, and my nephew Duncan. Flower girls... we dunno. There's not many girlies in my family young enough, and by the time we actually get married, probably not on his side either. We'll see.

We'll have our fatherly-like pastor marry us, since he's our pastor. Pastor Jerry. (PJ for short!) I want him to preach about the way God loves his people, the church... God's bride, who loves Him back... that relationship between them, and how that is the way a man and a woman should love each other as well.

I WILL cry. I will have Elvis Presley played at our reception for sure. lol. I'm seriously considering a cheese-cake for my wedding cake. :) I want my daddy to give me away, and I want to dance with him afterwards, after my first dance with Ryan as his you-know-what. lol. :P I also wanna dance with Ryan's dad, Marty... because he really is that special to me. I want my mom and my step-mom to both be there.... they don't have to talk, or even look at each other, but they will tolerate each other for ONE day, because it will be MY day... OUR day, just me and Ryan. The end. Nobody else gets any part of it but God. lol.

There will be no bachelor or bachelorette parties... we don't party. We'll have a good, honorable, fun night with our friends and family that we'll remember forever, and never be ashamed of. In fact, we'll probably plan them together, and check in on each other throughout, cuz that's just the way we are. :)

Now, I know, I know.... this may seem strange, but I have no clue about my dress. (or any of the clothing for anyone else!) lol. I just don't. I do know that I will wear all white, and I LOVE lace and pearly beading, and I do not want a strapless because of my bodily proportions. lol. I'll probably wear my hair natural... just down and curly. And I'll do my own makeup. I'll have a beautiful bouquet, and a back up one to throw to my lovely ladies that come. :) And yes... we'll probably do the garter fling thing, can't leave our awesome fellas!!

I feel like a little girl, dreaming about this stuff. :) But I'm not. It's really real. It's a good ways off in the future still... but not so far as I think, and not even a second when it actually approaches. And... a little girl doesn't have the prince charming yet.... but I do, and he prompted it all. :) It just feels so right..... and I give all the credit to God!!! I just don't deserve any of these feelings, don't deserve Ryan, or love period... neither of us do.... but by His grace, here we are, best friends in love. :) We just keep on keepin on... takin our sweet time, side-by-side...

4 comments:

  1. ahhhh!! I love it. i love all of it!! :)

    blue + neon green = awesome. :) definitely works. :) and what are the chances of there being shoes y'all like with blue and neon green?! :)

    i just love y'all and now I really can't wait for the wedding! :)

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  2. and, BTW: perfect title. :)

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  3. A day as unique and individual as you, my dear. I want you to know that I was on the phone when I read this and started crying, you nerd. I can't wait. I love you, you know that? I'm so glad you and Ryan came over and ate pie with us. Bethanie was happy all day, talking about her best cousin Rina.

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  4. Ha.... I love you guys SOOO much. :) And even though I'm WAY pumped too.... the worst part is, I hafta wait a looong time still. lol. Oh well... I win no matter what. :P Steph, I literally have to say the neon green thing was TOTALLY his idea. lol. And yeah, the title was exactly how I was feelin, and it was silly. :) Kaci, I love you too!!! And I love them kiddos, they're so awesome. :)

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