All I am going to post here for now is this....
You can do it. Everything we talked about... I'm rooting for you. Go for it. Don't be afraid to mess up, you can't do anything about that... but be afraid to miss out, and DO something about it.
Friday, July 31, 2009
My 101 in 1001! :)
1. Graduate from college
2. Get back in shape, and back to my "comfy" weight.
(DONE!!!) 3. Go horseback riding again like I used to
4. Ride a dirt bike
5. Study abroad
6. Be instrumental in helping to bring someone to Christ
7. Be as much, if not more, in love with Ryan as I am today :)
8. Visit my brother Randy, frequently.
9. BUNGEE JUMP
10. Go on an awesome picnic with Ryan
11. Buy my house
12. Breed my pugs Elvis and Priscilla
13. Get my mom to go to church with me...
(DONE!!!) 14. Get the 4 classic disney movies I need to complete my collection
15. Play the french horn again
16. Take Ryan to see the beach for his first time
17. Keep all the best friends I have now
18. See a Rangers game for the first time
19. Meet Nolan Ryan
20. Build a big snowman :)
21. See a hippopotamus (not a pigmey one either!)
22. Hit an in the field home run in softball
23. STAY in the Honors program at WTAMU
24. Take more awesome hat pictures with Ashley again
25. Change my new baby nephews' diaper after he's born
26. Ride my dad's new Harley
27. Shoot a hand gun
28. Go hunting
29. Visit Canada
30. Get an hour long massage by a professional
31. Visit an old old gothic style cathedral
32. Dance in the rain
(DONE!!) 33. Go fishing
34. Help our church out with some kind of big gift
(DONE!!)35. Watch my brother race his car
36. Win something from the crane machine
37. Spend $100 on other people
38. Make mexican rice like my grandma's
39. Play Zoo/Roller Caoster Tycoon for as long as I want one day
40. Go snowboarding again
41. Make hot sauce
42. Get Stephanie on a date!
43. See Crystal get engaged to Frank
44. Take all 3 of my dogs to the dog park
45. Go to Fall Retreat for church... and be one of the youngest people there!! :P
46. Spend one day with God, and God only.
47. Learn to play Amazing Grace on my guitar
48. Get an 85 or better in calculus
49. On a road trip, stop and see all the historical markers
50. Go on a cruise
51. See a wild bear
52. Make a financial investment for my future
53. Go shoe shopping with amazing freinds
(DONE!!!) 54. Paint my room
(DONE!!) 55. Decorate my own room, and LOVE it
(DONE!!) 56. Write another poem for the first time in a long while
(DONE!!!) 57. Laugh SO hard, I cry
58. NOT forget to sign up for scholarships! :/
59. Keep using "zizzled" in place of "pissed". :)
60. Have my dad visit my church and see me singing
61. Try a spray tan. lol
62. Paint my toenails ALL different colors, like I used to when I was little. :D
63. Read a book I have NEVER heard of
64. Watch an OU sport live, AT the game.
65. Run in a cancer race in honor of my dad.
66. Get my dog Cooper a hair cut.
67. Get a laptop
68. Stop my bad habits of biting my fingers and playing with my hair
69. Mow my lawn
(DONE!!!) 70. Start a blog. :/
71. Play BINGO... somewhere. lol.
(DONE!!!) 72. Kiss in the rain
73. Write about all of these, and their stories.
74. Go camping again with the youth group. :)
75. Go "out" one night with Steph. lol.
76. Take a random day trip with Ryan
77. BUY a french horn
78. Ride the Texas Titian at 6 Flags 6 times in a row at Naz Nite. :)
79. Get my savings account back up to $5,000
80.
81.
82.
83.
84.
85.
86.
87.
88.
89.
90.
91.
92.
93.
94.
95.
96.
97.
98.
99.
100.
101.
2. Get back in shape, and back to my "comfy" weight.
(DONE!!!) 3. Go horseback riding again like I used to
4. Ride a dirt bike
5. Study abroad
6. Be instrumental in helping to bring someone to Christ
7. Be as much, if not more, in love with Ryan as I am today :)
8. Visit my brother Randy, frequently.
9. BUNGEE JUMP
10. Go on an awesome picnic with Ryan
11. Buy my house
12. Breed my pugs Elvis and Priscilla
13. Get my mom to go to church with me...
(DONE!!!) 14. Get the 4 classic disney movies I need to complete my collection
15. Play the french horn again
16. Take Ryan to see the beach for his first time
17. Keep all the best friends I have now
18. See a Rangers game for the first time
19. Meet Nolan Ryan
20. Build a big snowman :)
21. See a hippopotamus (not a pigmey one either!)
22. Hit an in the field home run in softball
23. STAY in the Honors program at WTAMU
24. Take more awesome hat pictures with Ashley again
25. Change my new baby nephews' diaper after he's born
26. Ride my dad's new Harley
27. Shoot a hand gun
28. Go hunting
29. Visit Canada
30. Get an hour long massage by a professional
31. Visit an old old gothic style cathedral
32. Dance in the rain
(DONE!!) 33. Go fishing
34. Help our church out with some kind of big gift
(DONE!!)35. Watch my brother race his car
36. Win something from the crane machine
37. Spend $100 on other people
38. Make mexican rice like my grandma's
39. Play Zoo/Roller Caoster Tycoon for as long as I want one day
40. Go snowboarding again
41. Make hot sauce
42. Get Stephanie on a date!
43. See Crystal get engaged to Frank
44. Take all 3 of my dogs to the dog park
45. Go to Fall Retreat for church... and be one of the youngest people there!! :P
46. Spend one day with God, and God only.
47. Learn to play Amazing Grace on my guitar
48. Get an 85 or better in calculus
49. On a road trip, stop and see all the historical markers
50. Go on a cruise
51. See a wild bear
52. Make a financial investment for my future
53. Go shoe shopping with amazing freinds
(DONE!!!) 54. Paint my room
(DONE!!) 55. Decorate my own room, and LOVE it
(DONE!!) 56. Write another poem for the first time in a long while
(DONE!!!) 57. Laugh SO hard, I cry
58. NOT forget to sign up for scholarships! :/
59. Keep using "zizzled" in place of "pissed". :)
60. Have my dad visit my church and see me singing
61. Try a spray tan. lol
62. Paint my toenails ALL different colors, like I used to when I was little. :D
63. Read a book I have NEVER heard of
64. Watch an OU sport live, AT the game.
65. Run in a cancer race in honor of my dad.
66. Get my dog Cooper a hair cut.
67. Get a laptop
68. Stop my bad habits of biting my fingers and playing with my hair
69. Mow my lawn
(DONE!!!) 70. Start a blog. :/
71. Play BINGO... somewhere. lol.
(DONE!!!) 72. Kiss in the rain
73. Write about all of these, and their stories.
74. Go camping again with the youth group. :)
75. Go "out" one night with Steph. lol.
76. Take a random day trip with Ryan
77. BUY a french horn
78. Ride the Texas Titian at 6 Flags 6 times in a row at Naz Nite. :)
79. Get my savings account back up to $5,000
80.
81.
82.
83.
84.
85.
86.
87.
88.
89.
90.
91.
92.
93.
94.
95.
96.
97.
98.
99.
100.
101.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
My Big Bad Dad...
Well, tonight I think I will write about the person on my mind... my dad. I saw him today, and EVERY time I see him, I feel better. He is such a great dad.
His name is Ron. Ron England. ;) He's also a cop, and really good one at that. He lives a life that most people aren't cut out for, because he wears a bullet proof vest, and would sacrifice his life at the drop of a hat if he had to.
Actually, I used to absolutely, positively, with every fiber of my being, HATE my dad. No joke. I hated the man. You see... I look just like my mom, but I ACT just like my dad, and I think THAT is what added fuel to the fires between us. We're very VERY alike, and when I was younger, I couldn't stand him.
But then he went to Iraq.... and I was so ashamed of how mean and selfish I had been. I missed him so much. I cried because I just wanted him to be home, to pick on me, and help me out, and to argue with me even. He got shot over there... and that changes a little girl's perspective of her daddy. I realized I could have lost him... and here I was being so hateful most of the time. And some people never even get a dad in their life... and I took mine for granted. So I wrote him a letter... now we BOTH have a way with our words, and mine was one of those letters that really hit home. I know he still has it. I've seen him read it even after he got home. Then.... the divorce came.
When it came, the divorce came hard. I was barely a sophomore in high school, and then he was gone again, except this time by choice, and he was in the same town. And I was mad. I didn't hate him, but I wished I could. I had just found a church... and through it, I had learned alot of things about life, me, and the world. I loved it... and then I didn't understand why God did that to me. Not until very later did I ever realize His plan. But, we went through the motions, I kept my emotional distance, cuz I was sick of being hurt. He got married. Her name is Rebecca, and she is my step mom. She is a great person, really awesome woman. I liked her... but not with my dad. No way jose. It took time, but I got used to it... not comfortably, but I was ok. Then my Big Bad Dad (I gave him that name when I was 7, and he was a SWAT officer.) got sick.
He'd been sick for awhile before they found out. I got a call... my dad had 6 months to live. SIX MONTHS. By this time, I was a christian, my life was so good... but this time I wasn't mad at God. My dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer in the kidney, liver, and lungs on June 22 of 2007, and it was progressing to his heart, and because of that, they could not operate. I'd only been dating Ryan for barely a month.... but I called him. I cried, not like a baby.... like a daddy's girl losing her daddy. My mind raced. Death AGAIN made me change my mind... God made me change my mind. What was I gonna do? Christmas was going to be terrible. It was 8 days before my birthday. He would never see me graduate high school. Never see me into college. My dad was gonna miss my wedding... that was when my heart shattered. He was gonna miss seeing my kids, and holding them. The future is what killed me. I made it my life mission to make up for everything. I went to see my dad when I knew we could handle the situation... but we still cried. I could no longer NOT like my step mom. She was helping my dad so much. They had been going to church, and she was a major part of that. He hadn't really gone much before he married her. So... I had my church, Ryan's church (now my church), my friend's churches, and my dad's church, ALL praying for this man. This one dying man.... not to save his life... but to BE SAVED spiritually, and for healing, and for patience, and for comfort, ohhhh for comfort. All I did was pray. I wasn't gonna give up on my big bad dad.... not now. He was fighting this, physically, emotionally, mentally, and now spiritually. He was still working, trying to be normal.
If you've ever experienced cancer, or seen someone really close to you go through it.... it IS agony. My big bad dad could "fix anything... except maybe a broken heart." that's what he always said. And he could. Anything. Here he was loosing his thick hair, his mustache that always tickled me when he kissed me, he was itchy. Everywhere, he was itchy and blotchy. His lost weight, and his big muscles were not as big. He couldn't ride his Harley Davidson motorcycle anymore. He could hardly make it through his shift at work, and he had to be put on days, because night time came, and he was too weak. The chemo, and radiation made him sick. He had to take so many medicines.... soooo expensive just to try and survive. His head was bald, and his head hurt all the time from all the stuff going on with his body. And all the while...... everyone prayed.
That November, in 2007, THREE days before Thanksgiving Day.... he called me. The doctors told him that between the two weeks he had been scanned and that day.... the cancer in his liver vanished. The cancer in his kidney was gone. One of his lungs was now spotless. And it had receded from his heart, and now only his left lung had cancer. It was then I knew. I knew that God knew what he was doing. We prayed, cried, and asked of Him.... and He had delivered. If that isn't a true MIRACLE, then I don't know what IS. It was amazing. He was supposed to die, he could never have fought that cancer... only God could. Oh the joy, I was in the car driving to eat with Ryan and his parents... the sun was setting.... and I cried out, and just smiled. :) It still makes me smile. That news made my heart soo soo happy. I called everyone. lol. I called him, and we waited to tell his parents until I got there.... and Ryan's mom, Donna, she cried with me. lol. It was truly, and honestly amazing.
He was baptized, and saved that following March or so. He lived. HE LIVED. He inspired me so much, I wrote all my college entrance essays about him. I still tell his story... because it is true. He is a great man. I think God broke him to save him. I think God had to put him on his knees with cancer in order for my dad to seek Him, and in order for me to put the past behind, and just love my dad. Here we are, and he is CANCER FREE. He's working, and back to riding his Harley. He loves his life so much. He teaches a Sunday school class at his church with my step mom. After all this... he is a better dad, and just a better man period. He HAD to meet my step mom. He had to go to church with her. :) One day... my dad and I were sitting on his porch, just sittin together, out in the country at his house, and he looked at me and said, "You know kiddo, you and me.... we really did turn a 180 degrees didn't we? We did it." That stinkin man, lol... boy I cried. (We hate crying, but we're the ones who make each other cry the easiest.) And I said, "Nah... we totally suck... God did it." :)
He still calls me Baby Scoot. I still call him big bad dad. I still pick on him. We still pick on my sister. lol. He's gonna be there.... for my future. He saw me graduate. He saw me go to West Texas A&M... he even kept a copy of every single essay I wrote about him. He will dance with me at my wedding. He loves Ryan to death. :P And he will get to give my kids "woogie woogies", makin 'em laugh till they cry too. :) I'm my dad's baby. I'm his last kid, the youngest child, the daddy's little princess, and little girl. We ARE so alike, and I'm so proud of that now. I want to be like him. If I'm HALF the person he is, I'll be grateful. And that's how it should be. I tell people, actually I brag really, about my dad all the time. He's so awesome. :P However, I realized very recently... people always want to meet my dad when I tell about him.... but they already have. Because they met me.
I love you Big Bad Dad. :)
His name is Ron. Ron England. ;) He's also a cop, and really good one at that. He lives a life that most people aren't cut out for, because he wears a bullet proof vest, and would sacrifice his life at the drop of a hat if he had to.
Actually, I used to absolutely, positively, with every fiber of my being, HATE my dad. No joke. I hated the man. You see... I look just like my mom, but I ACT just like my dad, and I think THAT is what added fuel to the fires between us. We're very VERY alike, and when I was younger, I couldn't stand him.
But then he went to Iraq.... and I was so ashamed of how mean and selfish I had been. I missed him so much. I cried because I just wanted him to be home, to pick on me, and help me out, and to argue with me even. He got shot over there... and that changes a little girl's perspective of her daddy. I realized I could have lost him... and here I was being so hateful most of the time. And some people never even get a dad in their life... and I took mine for granted. So I wrote him a letter... now we BOTH have a way with our words, and mine was one of those letters that really hit home. I know he still has it. I've seen him read it even after he got home. Then.... the divorce came.
When it came, the divorce came hard. I was barely a sophomore in high school, and then he was gone again, except this time by choice, and he was in the same town. And I was mad. I didn't hate him, but I wished I could. I had just found a church... and through it, I had learned alot of things about life, me, and the world. I loved it... and then I didn't understand why God did that to me. Not until very later did I ever realize His plan. But, we went through the motions, I kept my emotional distance, cuz I was sick of being hurt. He got married. Her name is Rebecca, and she is my step mom. She is a great person, really awesome woman. I liked her... but not with my dad. No way jose. It took time, but I got used to it... not comfortably, but I was ok. Then my Big Bad Dad (I gave him that name when I was 7, and he was a SWAT officer.) got sick.
He'd been sick for awhile before they found out. I got a call... my dad had 6 months to live. SIX MONTHS. By this time, I was a christian, my life was so good... but this time I wasn't mad at God. My dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer in the kidney, liver, and lungs on June 22 of 2007, and it was progressing to his heart, and because of that, they could not operate. I'd only been dating Ryan for barely a month.... but I called him. I cried, not like a baby.... like a daddy's girl losing her daddy. My mind raced. Death AGAIN made me change my mind... God made me change my mind. What was I gonna do? Christmas was going to be terrible. It was 8 days before my birthday. He would never see me graduate high school. Never see me into college. My dad was gonna miss my wedding... that was when my heart shattered. He was gonna miss seeing my kids, and holding them. The future is what killed me. I made it my life mission to make up for everything. I went to see my dad when I knew we could handle the situation... but we still cried. I could no longer NOT like my step mom. She was helping my dad so much. They had been going to church, and she was a major part of that. He hadn't really gone much before he married her. So... I had my church, Ryan's church (now my church), my friend's churches, and my dad's church, ALL praying for this man. This one dying man.... not to save his life... but to BE SAVED spiritually, and for healing, and for patience, and for comfort, ohhhh for comfort. All I did was pray. I wasn't gonna give up on my big bad dad.... not now. He was fighting this, physically, emotionally, mentally, and now spiritually. He was still working, trying to be normal.
If you've ever experienced cancer, or seen someone really close to you go through it.... it IS agony. My big bad dad could "fix anything... except maybe a broken heart." that's what he always said. And he could. Anything. Here he was loosing his thick hair, his mustache that always tickled me when he kissed me, he was itchy. Everywhere, he was itchy and blotchy. His lost weight, and his big muscles were not as big. He couldn't ride his Harley Davidson motorcycle anymore. He could hardly make it through his shift at work, and he had to be put on days, because night time came, and he was too weak. The chemo, and radiation made him sick. He had to take so many medicines.... soooo expensive just to try and survive. His head was bald, and his head hurt all the time from all the stuff going on with his body. And all the while...... everyone prayed.
That November, in 2007, THREE days before Thanksgiving Day.... he called me. The doctors told him that between the two weeks he had been scanned and that day.... the cancer in his liver vanished. The cancer in his kidney was gone. One of his lungs was now spotless. And it had receded from his heart, and now only his left lung had cancer. It was then I knew. I knew that God knew what he was doing. We prayed, cried, and asked of Him.... and He had delivered. If that isn't a true MIRACLE, then I don't know what IS. It was amazing. He was supposed to die, he could never have fought that cancer... only God could. Oh the joy, I was in the car driving to eat with Ryan and his parents... the sun was setting.... and I cried out, and just smiled. :) It still makes me smile. That news made my heart soo soo happy. I called everyone. lol. I called him, and we waited to tell his parents until I got there.... and Ryan's mom, Donna, she cried with me. lol. It was truly, and honestly amazing.
He was baptized, and saved that following March or so. He lived. HE LIVED. He inspired me so much, I wrote all my college entrance essays about him. I still tell his story... because it is true. He is a great man. I think God broke him to save him. I think God had to put him on his knees with cancer in order for my dad to seek Him, and in order for me to put the past behind, and just love my dad. Here we are, and he is CANCER FREE. He's working, and back to riding his Harley. He loves his life so much. He teaches a Sunday school class at his church with my step mom. After all this... he is a better dad, and just a better man period. He HAD to meet my step mom. He had to go to church with her. :) One day... my dad and I were sitting on his porch, just sittin together, out in the country at his house, and he looked at me and said, "You know kiddo, you and me.... we really did turn a 180 degrees didn't we? We did it." That stinkin man, lol... boy I cried. (We hate crying, but we're the ones who make each other cry the easiest.) And I said, "Nah... we totally suck... God did it." :)
He still calls me Baby Scoot. I still call him big bad dad. I still pick on him. We still pick on my sister. lol. He's gonna be there.... for my future. He saw me graduate. He saw me go to West Texas A&M... he even kept a copy of every single essay I wrote about him. He will dance with me at my wedding. He loves Ryan to death. :P And he will get to give my kids "woogie woogies", makin 'em laugh till they cry too. :) I'm my dad's baby. I'm his last kid, the youngest child, the daddy's little princess, and little girl. We ARE so alike, and I'm so proud of that now. I want to be like him. If I'm HALF the person he is, I'll be grateful. And that's how it should be. I tell people, actually I brag really, about my dad all the time. He's so awesome. :P However, I realized very recently... people always want to meet my dad when I tell about him.... but they already have. Because they met me.
I love you Big Bad Dad. :)
Monday, July 27, 2009
Not a Blogger....
Yes, it is true. I have a blog. I know I need it, some place to write, and vent probably.... but I just didn't want one, because I don't want to have this turn into what my myspace did.... lame. lol. :P I need to write again... yes Stephanie, I admitted it. Once upon a time, I was good at it, or so they tell me still.
I'm not really an onion, I don't have layers. I love God, and only by His grace... He loves me too. I love my family, more about them another time, and my friends. My friends keep me sane, and laughing. My numero uno, is Steph. (Who does NOT suck at softball anymore.) She has the patience for the both of us, since I have very little. We're different... WAY different. But, I like her that way. And I make her laugh, and I'm here for her. Because she stresses alot, I have to be the one to make her smile sometimes. :) I have a great group of friends... all of them. Jennifer, Jess, Justin, Lizard, Wendy, Elwin, Jarrett, Shelby, and Sarah. I love Jen alot. She's always been there.... even before we decided we were actually best friends. lol. We rock. :P Lizard came outta nowhere, and I doubted her existence when Justin started dating her, but I needed a girl like her. We share common likes and dislikes. Like uh... shoes, and alot! hehe. I can always just me the simple Serina I wanna be with them. No pretending, nothing... just me. Wendy came from out of the clear blue, and has really pulled me down to earth in some good ways. Challenging, but very rewarding. No matter what... I just love her. Simple as that. I love my boyfriend, Ryan. Alot. When all else fails... I have him. And when I have everything, he's there too. He IS my best friend, first and foremost. Then my boyfriend. He makes me better, and he makes me stronger. He is my compliment. He always seems to calm me down when I just can't. And make me smile when I just can't. I don't deserve him, and yet he still can't seem to get enough of me. I'm NOT lucky... I'm just way too blessed. :) And I'm glad. I love music. It's what I use to express myself when I don't have words. I love my chinese pugs, Elvis and Priscilla, they are AWESOME. Quite literally THE best dogs on earth. Period. hehe. That leads me to my next point.... I love Elvis, the King. My dad got me hooked when I was little, and I still love his music... thus, I have a dog named after him. lol. I'm keeping this blog short, because the blogs to come will have plenty, so why put all the stuff about me in one....
So, ok. I'm done. :) lol.
I'm not really an onion, I don't have layers. I love God, and only by His grace... He loves me too. I love my family, more about them another time, and my friends. My friends keep me sane, and laughing. My numero uno, is Steph. (Who does NOT suck at softball anymore.) She has the patience for the both of us, since I have very little. We're different... WAY different. But, I like her that way. And I make her laugh, and I'm here for her. Because she stresses alot, I have to be the one to make her smile sometimes. :) I have a great group of friends... all of them. Jennifer, Jess, Justin, Lizard, Wendy, Elwin, Jarrett, Shelby, and Sarah. I love Jen alot. She's always been there.... even before we decided we were actually best friends. lol. We rock. :P Lizard came outta nowhere, and I doubted her existence when Justin started dating her, but I needed a girl like her. We share common likes and dislikes. Like uh... shoes, and alot! hehe. I can always just me the simple Serina I wanna be with them. No pretending, nothing... just me. Wendy came from out of the clear blue, and has really pulled me down to earth in some good ways. Challenging, but very rewarding. No matter what... I just love her. Simple as that. I love my boyfriend, Ryan. Alot. When all else fails... I have him. And when I have everything, he's there too. He IS my best friend, first and foremost. Then my boyfriend. He makes me better, and he makes me stronger. He is my compliment. He always seems to calm me down when I just can't. And make me smile when I just can't. I don't deserve him, and yet he still can't seem to get enough of me. I'm NOT lucky... I'm just way too blessed. :) And I'm glad. I love music. It's what I use to express myself when I don't have words. I love my chinese pugs, Elvis and Priscilla, they are AWESOME. Quite literally THE best dogs on earth. Period. hehe. That leads me to my next point.... I love Elvis, the King. My dad got me hooked when I was little, and I still love his music... thus, I have a dog named after him. lol. I'm keeping this blog short, because the blogs to come will have plenty, so why put all the stuff about me in one....
So, ok. I'm done. :) lol.
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